32 replies to this topic

[The Great Wargasm]

Note:
Before I proceed, this build is not for the faint of heart. If you're a meta sheep or a Mace/Shield + GS warrior, you may spontaneously develop a brain aneurysm and experience gastroenteritis. If you are one of the above, please go back and spare your bowels from the pain.

Second Note:
Please listen to this while reading the guide:

Overview
This build is similar to the permastealth thief except it takes more skill and can cause the Gw2 servers to implode due to your sheer battle-forged prowess. You will not be hit but you will not be invisible either.
I present to you, the Dodge Warrior.

What are the traits for this build?
As I mentioned, this is HARDCORE, so the traits are 5/0/0/0/0 - Yes you read that right, 5, FIVE in the Strength line for the Reckless Dodge Trait. Your goal is to receive maximum endurance/ endurance regeneration uptime. If you have anything else other than the 5 points in the Strength line, please redirect yourself to the Programs And Features tab of your computer and right click and Uninstall Guildwars 2. The best of the best waged wars back in the day without anything but their own tools, the only defence they had was their own wit. Vitality for the weak, defence for the deluded.

Armor and Heal(s):
You will be using Clerics armor with Healing Signet and Superior Runes of the Adventurer on everything. You want to be spamming your healing Signet for maximum endurance regeneration during battle. The reasoning for Cleric armor is so that you are super tanky while you are executing your highly-complex combos.

Weapon Sets:
Your weapon set will be Warhorn/Shield + Shield/Shield and EVERYTHING has to be equipped with Superior Sigil of Energy. You want to be constantly spamming weapon swap during combat alongside your heals ALONG with the Warhorn 5 to achieve MAXIMUM Endurance Regeneration/Vigor uptime.

Food:
You will be using Bowl of Orrian Truffle and Meat Stew because Truffles are delicious and the fried chicken in your food will make your enemies think you are tough. This will also give you maximum endurance regeneration, making you more hard to hit than a blind guy trying to snipe a plane on Uranus from the edge of the Milky Way Galaxy.

Utilities and Elite Skill:
Your utilities are going to be Signet of Stamina/Signet of Stamina/Signet of Stamina and Rampage as an elite. Maximum Endurance Regeneration! If things go wrong, activate rampage and scare your enemies away with tough-guy form. The psychology behind this is that you turn bigger, so more size = more fear factor = more people running away from you. This is guaranteed success. I have 1v100'd zergs with this strategy as many of you may have seen if you've had the blessings to see me in combat.

Combat:
Now that we have established the basics, we move into the actual field-training, it's time for me to remove the training wheels and let you out into the open world with some advice. When you are in combat you open with this combo:

Shield Bash -> Shield Bash -> Swap -> Shield Bash -> Every Warhorn Ability -> Dodge -> Dodge -> (/laugh @ -> /invite @ -> /p "Gg baddies L2P" -> /leave) -> Swap -> Dodge -> Dodge -> Shield Bash -> Shield Bash -> Rampage -> Kick -> Kick -> Kick -> Kick -> Heartseeker

NOTE: While you are doing this combo you want to be simultaneously smashing your head on the healing key for your Adventurer Runes to take maximum effect on your endurance regeneration when your weapon swap energy power-plant is on cooldown.

Approximately halfway through this combo your enemy will go to the Character Select screen, delete their character, reroll profession and transfer to another server, hoping to never have their rear end anguished by you again. Should you execute this full combo by any chance, it may result in real-life casualties on their part and PTSD (People Trampled by Sexy Dodgers) syndrome.

Congratulations, you are now a good warrior, go and show some people how to L2P Gw2.

[Maestro]

I lol'd.   100 internets for making me laugh and for the fact I had more fun reading this post than I did playing WvW all of this week.  

Thanks, Anet.

Gonna go roll me this warrior and create a "lulz! Silly thiefses" /onjoin script for GW2.

[Reisa]

What a noob.

There's a 20% signet downtime trait somewhere in the warrior trait trees.  I couldn't remember where it was or be arsed to look it up, so I recommend all players use my much more superior build of:

10/10/10/10/10.

With my build, you literally have infinitely more stats and dodges than The Female Wargasm's build.  Literally.  When you look on the stat page, you'll have an 8 that's fallen over.  Granted, 8's the sassiest of numbers (because seven ate nine, or something), but it's an improvement!

Everything else is great about the build, though.

[The Great Wargasm]

Reisa, on 20 September 2013 - 04:06 PM, said:

What a noob.

There's a 20% signet downtime trait somewhere in the warrior trait trees.  I couldn't remember where it was or be arsed to look it up, so I recommend all players use my much more superior build of:

10/10/10/10/10.

With my build, you literally have infinitely more stats and dodges than The Female Wargasm's build.  Literally.  When you look on the stat page, you'll have an 8 that's fallen over.  Granted, 8's the sassiest of numbers (because seven ate nine, or something), but it's an improvement!

Everything else is great about the build, though.

1. Reported

2. This is a build for hardcore elite warriors.

3. Who cares about Signet downtime, the Healing Signet has such a short CD that the cooldown reduction you gain is almost insignificant.

4. You're not going to be using the active on the Signets of Stamina anyways thus once again, who cares about downtime.

5. Vitality is for sissies.

6. Defence beyond your armor is for sissies furthermore.

7. Reported

9. Vitality and Defence together is the ultimate sign of weakness.

10. I didn't even post a number 8, get styled noob.

[Reisa]

The Great Wargasm, on 20 September 2013 - 04:52 PM, said:

1. Reported

1. Reported for reporting.

The Great Wargasm, on 20 September 2013 - 04:52 PM, said:

2. This is a build for hardcore elite warriors.

2. If by hardcore elite warriors, you mean half-drunk mama's boys, 'cause that's how this build is built for.  I'm implying that you're half drunk and not man enough to go the full way, and also that you have a very special relationship with your mother.  In case it wasn't obvious.

The Great Wargasm, on 20 September 2013 - 04:52 PM, said:

3. Who cares about Signet downtime, the Healing Signet has such a short CD that the cooldown reduction you gain is almost insignificant.

3. Almost insignificant compared to YOUR FACE?  I bet you're the type of person who runs around WvW in all blues because the stat difference between level 70-ish blue equipment and ascended gear is 'almost insignificant.'

The Great Wargasm, on 20 September 2013 - 04:52 PM, said:

4. You're not going to be using the active on the Signets of Stamina anyways thus once again, who cares about downtime.

4. But like you said, you'll be spamming your healing signet at all times for maximum endurance.  Gawd, you don't even follow your own advice!

The Great Wargasm, on 20 September 2013 - 04:52 PM, said:

5. Vitality is for sissies.

5. At last, something we agree on.  If I had my way, Warriors would have the same HP as elementalists.  OR LOWER.  Because real warriors don't need the largest healthpool and the heaviest armor in the game.  Toughness is for ladybois!

The Great Wargasm, on 20 September 2013 - 04:52 PM, said:

6. Defence beyond your armor is for sissies furthermore.

6. You use armor?  What a girl.

The Great Wargasm, on 20 September 2013 - 04:52 PM, said:

7. Reported

7. You already reported, noob.  Reported for spamming!

The Great Wargasm, on 20 September 2013 - 04:52 PM, said:

9. Vitality and Defence together is the ultimate sign of weakness.

8. You use warhorn which causes weakness.  Who has the true weakness of character!

The Great Wargasm, on 20 September 2013 - 04:52 PM, said:

10. I didn't even post a number 8, get styled noob.

9. Your inability to count is almost insignificant.

[The Great Wargasm]

Reisa, on 20 September 2013 - 05:09 PM, said:

1. Reported for reporting.

Reported for reported for reporting.


2. If by hardcore elite warriors, you mean half-drunk mama's boys, 'cause that's how this build is built for.  I'm implying that you're half drunk and not man enough to go the full way, and also that you have a very special relationship with your mother.  In case it wasn't obvious.

You're the one that said "With my build, you literally have infinitely more stats and dodges ".Infinitely more stats = Infinitely more sissy = You
And being man is about doing what you can with what you have, not statpadding your anus with infinite stats --> Also you.

3. Almost insignificant compared to YOUR FACE?  I bet you're the type of person who runs around WvW in all blues because the stat difference between level 70-ish blue equipment and ascended gear is 'almost insignificant.'

You're incorrect, I don't need blue armor to beat you. I run around in white armor for the likes of you so it's that much more embarassing while I cancel your attempts to get back up after being downed by rolling into you.

4. But like you said, you'll be spamming your healing signet at all times for maximum endurance.  Gawd, you don't even follow your own advice!

4 seconds worth of Signet versus 4 lifetimes worth of pride and glory, your call. But then again, we've established that you already have no pride when you're going 10/10/10/10/10 so I assume you wouldn't understand anyways.

5. At last, something we agree on.  If I had my way, Warriors would have the same HP as elementalists.  OR LOWER.  Because real warriors don't need the largest healthpool and the heaviest armor in the game.  Toughness is for ladybois!

I agree with this too, considering I am untouchable with this build, I could get away with having even 1 HP, that way people would tear their hair out and jump out their windows when they die due to the frustration of losing to a 1 HP target.

6. You use armor?  What a girl.

I'm a minimalist for stats that I don't need but I try to remain stylish, so I transmute all my exotics with white armor stats. It establishes that I am serious in nature and not trolling, so that people can understand what a threat I am upon the battlefield. This is seen more obviously with the female thieves/mesmers/eles/rangers who look like females you would find walking in a Red Light District and are hardly regarded as anything beyond eye-candy for their enemies. You must maintain a ferocious presence in the battlefield, but you must live up to that presence as well.

7. You already reported, noob.  Reported for spamming!

Reported again, have fun with your ban.

8. You use warhorn which causes weakness.  Who has the true weakness of character!

The victim of my warhorn (You).

9. Your inability to count is almost insignificant.

Noob alert.

[Reisa]

The Great Wargasm, on 20 September 2013 - 05:35 PM, said:

1. Reported for reporting.

Reported for reported for reporting.  

  Reported for reporting the reported reporting.  



2. If by hardcore elite warriors, you mean half-drunk mama's boys, 'cause that's how this build is built for.  I'm implying that you're half drunk and not man enough to go the full way, and also that you have a very special relationship with your mother.  In case it wasn't obvious.

You're the one that said "With my build, you literally have infinitely more stats and dodges ".Infinitely more stats = Infinitely more sissy = You
And being man is about doing what you can with what you have, not statpadding your anus with infinite stats --> Also you.

Says the person with infinite health!  Hypocrite.  And I'm sorry that your build is completely useless in a zerg while mine is outright better than yours and helps in team fights.  Being a warrior is about being secure.  If you're so concerned about 1v1 fighting, you need to go make a perma-stealth thief like all the other little girls.

3. Almost insignificant compared to YOUR FACE?  I bet you're the type of person who runs around WvW in all blues because the stat difference between level 70-ish blue equipment and ascended gear is 'almost insignificant.'

You're incorrect, I don't need blue armor to beat you. I run around in white armor for the likes of you so it's that much more embarassing while I cancel your attempts to get back up after being downed by rolling into you.  

But I'll be able to outroll your rolls because my signet was like four seconds faster on recharge than you.  And it'll be more embarrassing for you when I beat you with the NO ARMOR I normally run around in.  

4. But like you said, you'll be spamming your healing signet at all times for maximum endurance.  Gawd, you don't even follow your own advice!

4 seconds worth of Signet versus 4 lifetimes worth of pride and glory, your call. But then again, we've established that you already have no pride when you're going 10/10/10/10/10 so I assume you wouldn't understand anyways.  

Pride is one thing but practicality is another and it's not my fault that Anet hides the 20% signet reduction somewhere in the trees.  What, do you want me to go look for it?  That sounds like something some spoiled over-educated silver spoon fed little girl would say.  I follow my gut.  The feelings.  It ignores your weird and impossible 'facts' and replaces it with overaccurate truthiness.  

5. At last, something we agree on.  If I had my way, Warriors would have the same HP as elementalists.  OR LOWER.  Because real warriors don't need the largest healthpool and the heaviest armor in the game.  Toughness is for ladybois!

I agree with this too, considering I am untouchable with this build, I could get away with having even 1 HP, that way people would tear their hair out and jump out their windows when they die due to the frustration of losing to a 1 HP target.  

My improvement to your build makes you double-untouchable, thereby creating twice as much hair pulling enough to invest in an awesome line of wigs and make a bzillion doll-hairs.  Get rich while playing, foo'.  

6. You use armor?  What a girl.

I'm a minimalist for stats that I don't need but I try to remain stylish, so I transmute all my exotics with white armor stats. It establishes that I am serious in nature and not trolling, so that people can understand what a threat I am upon the battlefield. This is seen more obviously with the female thieves/mesmers/eles/rangers who look like females you would find walking in a Red Light District and are hardly regarded as anything beyond eye-candy for their enemies. You must maintain a ferocious presence in the battlefield, but you must live up to that presence as well.

That's true except all exotic armor in the game looks atrocious, so while your stats may remain pure, you are nowhere near stylish.  Also, the only way to be more naked than naked is to wear really revealing warrior armor that shows off the manly breasts (the man boobs, those greasey, hairy, sculpted visions of masculinity).

7. You already reported, noob.  Reported for spamming!

Reported again, have fun with your ban.

Reported for misrepresenting yourself as a mod.

8. You use warhorn which causes weakness.  Who has the true weakness of character!

The victim of my warhorn (You).

I guess the only way you could beat me is if I were weakened.  Oh, who am I kidding, you still couldn't beat me!  Victim of my shieldbash=you (stunned).

9. Your inability to count is almost insignificant.

[Reina Takayama]

I love this thread xD It's like troll masterpiece

[The Great Wargasm]

Reisa, on 20 September 2013 - 05:55 PM, said:

Pride is one thing but practicality is another

Mace/Shield + GS warrior detected. Everything you say is irrelevant beyond this point.

[Reisa]

The Great Wargasm, on 20 September 2013 - 06:32 PM, said:

Mace/Shield + GS warrior detected. Everything you say is irrelevant beyond this point.

What's it feel like not being important enough for proper formatting?

Everything you said is almost insignificant.

[The Great Wargasm]

Reisa, on 20 September 2013 - 06:56 PM, said:

What's it feel like not being important enough for proper formatting?

Everything you said is almost insignificant.

Can't hear you Mr. Mace "Greatsword" Shieldington.

[Reisa]

The Great Wargasm, on 20 September 2013 - 07:06 PM, said:

Can't hear you Mr. Mace "Greatsword" Shieldington.

What was that?  I can't hear you over all that armor you're wearing.  Maybe when your second testicle descends, you won't be so afraid of getting hit.

[Reina Takayama]

Reisa, on 20 September 2013 - 09:34 PM, said:

What was that?  I can't hear you over all that armor you're wearing.  Maybe when your second testicle descends, you won't be so afraid of getting hit.

Real Warriors don't wear armor

The Great Wargasm, on 20 September 2013 - 07:06 PM, said:

Can't hear you Mr. Mace "Greatsword" Shieldington.

Real Warriors don't need to be heard, only blood is seen.

Real Warriors die in battle, like champs.

But still die.

To me.

[Reisa]

Reina Takayama, on 22 September 2013 - 08:01 PM, said:

Real Warriors don't wear armor



Real Warriors don't need to be heard, only blood is seen.

Real Warriors die in battle, like champs.

But still die.

To me.

From old age, 'cause all you do is stand on the corner like a mesmitute.

[The Great Wargasm]

Reisa, on 22 September 2013 - 08:23 PM, said:

From old age, 'cause all you do is stand on the corner like a mesmitute.

You have all my respect. +1

[Reina Takayama]

Reisa, on 22 September 2013 - 08:23 PM, said:

From old age, 'cause all you do is stand on the corner like a mesmitute.

that's a great way to die! Not worth lifting a finger :3

[Reisa]

Reina Takayama, on 23 September 2013 - 06:36 AM, said:

that's a great way to die! Not worth lifting a finger :3

At least we know how you got all them legendaries and semi-legendaries now, don't we?

Shhh, it's okay.  A warrior broke your heart and/or body and/or spirit, but you don't have to take it out on the rest of us.

You can be the filling on a Warrior Female Wargasm sandwich.  Our prices are very reasonable.

[Reina Takayama]

Reisa, on 23 September 2013 - 12:52 PM, said:

At least we know how you got all them legendaries and semi-legendaries now, don't we?

Shhh, it's okay.  A warrior broke your heart and/or body and/or spirit, but you don't have to take it out on the rest of us.

You can be the filling on a Warrior Female Wargasm sandwich.  Our prices are very reasonable.

...what? whats legendaries got to do with anything? lol
and i'm only afk during NA primetime, i do stuff in the day time

[Son Jei]

Reisa, on 23 September 2013 - 12:52 PM, said:

At least we know how you got all them legendaries and semi-legendaries now, don't we?

Shhh, it's okay.  A warrior broke your heart and/or body and/or spirit, but you don't have to take it out on the rest of us.

You can be the filling on a Warrior Female Wargasm sandwich.  Our prices are very reasonable.

A bit rude no? =/

[Will Hawke]

CHOCK NORROS