271 replies to this topic

[Tamathar]

Granted, all currently unavailable stat groups for ascended trinkets will be added into the loot tables for the evolved wurms with approximately a .005% chance to drop.

I wish amazon kindle books were significantly cheaper to account for the lack of production costs.

[Solumin]

Granted, but any remaining production quality drops, and the ebooks are pretty much unreadable.

I wish there were more "Police Squad!" episodes.

[Xyvol]

Granted. The begin shooting again, but since most of the original cast has passed away it's a reboot with all new cast. When I say all new I mean they just graduated from their high school drama program...

I wish building a house in real life was as easy as it is in Minecraft.

[Solumin]

Granted, but your house attracts creepers, and your insurance doesn't cover that.

I wish the nice spring weather would stick around for more than a day!

[Silvernis]

Granted. The weather is glorious for exactly twenty-four hours and fifteen seconds, and then we're back to good old dreary greyness.

I wish I had a nice lox-and-bagel sandwich right now.

[Tamathar]

Granted, but... well... it's a bagel...

I wish work was a little less boring.

[Silvernis]

Granted. Everyone is now required to participate in an ongoing Nerf gun battle while working, while speaking entirely in Middle English, while wearing Playboy bunny suits.

I wish I had temporal manipulation powers.

[Solumin]

Granted, but the powers are really ineffectual and give you a headache whenever you try to use them.

I wish I was an astronaut.

[Silvernis]

Granted, but how do you feel about explosive decompression?

I wish zeppelins were still a thing.

[Tamathar]

Granted, but how do you feel about explosive ignition of hydrogen?

I wish I had an infinite supply of pizza (for free).

[Silvernis]

Granted, but it's your least-favorite style of pizza.

I wish real life had a dev console for entering cheat codes.

[Tamathar]

Granted, you can enter all the cheat codes you want. Too bad real life never had any cheat codes added that work.

I wish holographic user interfaces were existing technology (think J.A.R.V.I.S. as portrayed in the newer Iron Man movies.)

[Xyvol]

Granted, but they are made by Microsoft and impossible to get working right. (No, no, no. A wrist flick is supposed to move the file, not close it!)

I wish the film industry would stop remaking stories that are less than a decade old.

[Ujimona]

Granted.  Unfortunately, the quality of writing doesn't improve, so the movies are still horrible.

wish people would just leave their drama at home.

[Solumin]

Granted. All drama is left at home, so new movies, books and plays are completely drama-free and really, really boring.

I wish I could see Chenoweth perform on Broadway.

[Xyvol]

Sure thing! You catch Chenoweth Appliances preforming their trade show exhibit routine in an unused warehouse on Broadway street in Louisville, KY. Oh, did you mean Kristin Chenoweth? oops.

I wish I could fly.

[Silvernis]

Granted. Just take a seat in this catapult over here.

I wish the guy in the cubicle behind me would stop whistling.

[Tamathar]

Granted, he instead starts singing. Turns out he was whistling a song from an opera.

I wish I had pancakes.

[Solumin]

Granted, but you have no syrup. (Is that too evil?)

I wish I could explore Antarctica.

[Silvernis]

Granted, but while there, you're attacked by vermicious knids evil penguins.

I wish I had waffles and bacon.