271 replies to this topic

[Solumin]

Granted. Merkins are in!

I wish I didn't have so many projects right now.

[Tamathar]

Granted. Now they're a legal requirement.

Granted. You now have twice as many projects 3 months from now.

I wish I actually liked "healthy" food.

[Silvernis]

Granted. You can now enjoy paying extra for fancy-schmany-ultra-premium-super-organic food that may or may not be better for you.

I wish I'd never figured out that "healthy" doesn't mean the same as "healthful."

[Xyvol]

Granted, you're now ignorant of any dietary concerns, and therefore just eat McDonalds for every meal.

I wish I could ride a dinosaur.

[Solumin]

Granted. The dinosaur eats you and runs away.

I wish I could keep a good sleep schedule.

[Xyvol]

Granted. It's a polyphasic sleep schedule, and doesn't mesh well with the rest of society. People are constantly wanting your attention during your nap times.

I wish a norn could wear asura cultural armor.

[Solumin]

Granted. There's no size change, so it's more like a norn wearing an asura cultural bikini. ANet sticks with realism, and you get almost no stat benefits or defense from wearing it.

I wish I could easily find Ancient Wood gathering nodes. The one thing megaserver is making difficult...

[Silvernis]

Granted. ANet quadruples the number of nodes, leading to a glut of wood that throws off the market.

I wish I had a bottomless font of iced tea.

[Tamathar]

Granted. You meant this definition right?

Quote

font noun 1. a receptacle in a church for the water used in baptism, typically a freestanding stone structure.

Not sure why you want a bottomless baptism pool, but okay.


I wish the new megaserver areas didn't feel overcrowded.

[Silvernis]

Anyone can have a pitcher or bottle of tea, but a marble font that magically refills itself? That's classy.

Anyhow, granted—the megaserver system causes unexpected issues, and no other characters are being rendered at all in every area of the game.

I wish we could explore the buildings on top of the walls at Divinity's Reach.

[Tamathar]

Granted. Turns out all the people there are level 80 determined champions and they don't like intruders. They decide to end your exploration rather quickly.

I wish Anet would add more jumping puzzles to the game.

[Solumin]

Granted. All living story updates are now in the form of jumping puzzles. New area? Jumping puzzle. New gear? Jumping puzzle. New Villain? JUMPING PUZZLE.

I wish we could climb the mountains easily -- maybe mountaineering kits?

[Silvernis]

Granted. The whole world is now fully 3D and explorable, with clipping issues aplenty.

I wish I had a golem.

[Solumin]

Granted, but the golem steals and destroys all your loot before you can get to it.

I wish I could wear my hair long.

[Xyvol]

Granted. Your hair train now puts Rapunzel's to shame, and it gets caught on EVERYTHING.

I wish the internet wasn't a series of tubes.

[Solumin]

Granted, it's now a big dump truck.

I wish it was still possible to map nodes with megaservers.

[Xyvol]

Done, but now it takes all three gatherings to get one item, which must then be salvaged.

I wish I had an internet connection that could handle the megaserver.

[UltraEM]

Granted, but you don't have enough money to pay for the cost of better internet.

I wish for more WvW maps.

[xfq]

Granted, but they're all EoTM remakes

I wish for an Aetherized Sword

[Silvernis]

Granted, but the model is glitched and looks like your least favorite sword instead.

I wish my car could use Blink to skip red lights and pass school buses.